In Your Dreams Wait No In Mine
by im-so-asian
Summary: Just something kinda different from the actual plot. Tell me if you like it! - Mia


**Clare's POV**

January 3, 2011. New year, and as Simpson says, new school. Uniforms? Really? I mean, I know _lying_ to him wasn't exactly the wisest choice I could've made, but a lot of things aren't. Especially now. I mean, I'm hanging on a thread right now, in suspense, close to falling if the truth isn't heard. I told him that I didn't feel secure with the way he was acting. Why couldn't he just let it all go, and spare me the worry, and the lost heart beats. That 'he', is Eli. Eli freakin Goldsworthy. I fell for him in the beginning of the school year, his first day- first second here, I was already first in line. He was there with me for my parents, and all the issues that have occurred. I can't let him go that easily- but at the same time, I can't live with a feeling of always having to worry. I would usually just live through it, but I can't. I feel as if I have to look after him all the time- especially now.

"Clare! You're gonna be late for school! Hurry up!" I slipped in my earrings, and tucked in my shirt. I'm kinda used to it, because I went to private school before, but still. It's weird, because having to see Degrassi in its changed version is pretty mind tingling, and stomach turning. I guess I should hurry down the stairs to begin this treacherous second half of the school year. What else awaits us? "Come ON!" Gosh, mom! Can you just WAIT! I'm on the edge of this cliff of thought right now! I'd appreciate it if you could help me up! But who am I kidding? I can't tell my mom a thing.

**Eli's POV**

It's cold this season in Toronto, Canada. Not in its most pleasant state, but I've lived with the winter seasons long enough. But I'm still sweating. And I'm not even wearing a jacket. I'm just too nervous. It's the first time facing Clare, face to face for two weeks. What will she say to me? Is she still mad? I can't keep up, because it's driving me crazy- no- insane. After I almost had my organs _sliced_ out of my body, I feel the need to quiver, and shake of what happened two weeks ago. She told me she couldn't be with me. At least if I didn't change. I'll try my best to stray away from those angered feelings. But I can't help it, it's part of my past. The past always changes the future, the present's only the bridge. The thing is, you can't walk back, you can only move forward. Apparently, I'm under the bridge. But I have to move on- Especially now.

**Clare's POV**

Oh my God. The bus is almost here. I almost have to get out of the bus. I'm so nervous… I didn't wanna ride my bike to school- it's way too cold. But even if it were hot, I still wouldn't want to. Based on the fact that I really don't want to go. I don't know how to handle everything. Both at school, and home. My parents are still arguing, and for the stupidest reasons at that. I mean, yesterday, they fought over the toaster oven. The TOASTER OVEN. A kitchen appliance. Nothing serious! I don't get how they can just do that RIGHT in front of me, and put no effort into trying to make anything better! And at school, Eli. Eli! I'm not mad at him, but what the heck do I do! I'm not even sure if I broke up with him, or we're still together! I decided I'd give him some space. And I guess he decided the same, because he never put into attempt to talk to me over the break. I probably wouldn't either. I guess during this time of year, it should be a lot easier to cool off, right? It is snowing, after all. One thing about coldness, you could either be as happy as heck, or go crazy. And based on the fact that I can't stop thinking, I think I'm going crazy. The bus stopped. I saw a black hearse out front. Oh no, he's here. He stepped out, in uniform, looking nervous. More nervous than about 15% of the people here. A lot of things happened two weeks ago. A lot. Fitz got arrested, thank god. Maybe now, Eli won't have to throw a fit over anything. But one thing I don't have to say 'maybe' about: My mind is taking over my heart right now, and I simple don't know what to do, with anything. My life is falling apart.

**Eli's POV**

Well, here I am. All cold and whatnot. Why didn't I bring a jacket? Because I simply don't care, because I am going INSANE. The bus is here. That should mean Clare's here. Which means I should probably go and talk to her. Wow. I just realized, there's so many people here wearing the same thing. It's kinda trippy. But I guess I have to live with it. Like I try to with everything else. The fact that I live with my grandparents, and the fact that my parents are far too unstable to take care of me, the fact that the only girl- person- object- thing with a pulse- that I love—I'm not even _slightly _sure of how she feels. I didn't talk to her at all over break. At ALL. But one thing that I'm sure of right now: My life is falling apart.

**Clare's POV**

Should I go talk to him? No, I'll see if he has the guts to talk to me. Hopefully, he will.

**Eli's POV**

Oh shoot. I see her walking out of the bus. I think she's looking for someone. Should I talk to her? Ugh, this is too difficult. I walked over to the school steps, and waited, she'd have to face me SOMETIME. She came walking towards me with a blank expression on her face. I'm not entirely sure if she sees me or not. Here she comes. She looked up, then began walking more slowly, but never to a complete stop. I jumped off the piece of concrete that I was sitting on to catch up with her. "Hey! Clare! Wait up!" I told her, here's the moment of truth!

**Clare's POV**

Oh no, what do I do? Well, I don't wanna be rude… "Eli." I continued my walking, hugging my books. Wishing that I could tell what to do, so I could decide whether I should pretend that he's the book or not.

"You can't ignore me forever, Clare." I kept walking, head facing forward.

"Well, hurry up, I can't be late to class."

"Clare, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I can't stand feeling like I'm on your bad side. I'm sorry for being an idiot, and making things worse. I just hope for once, I could make things better." Ok, if he said THAT, how the heck am I supposed to refuse him? I hope he really means it. I think I think he really means it. Should I think he means it? Yeah, I guess he means it. I turned around, with the most forgiving face I could possibly give a person.

"Eli. Fine. I'll give you a second chance. Just promise me that you won't let things get out of hand, ok?"

"Yes, princess Clare."

"Eli. I just started talking to you. Slow your roll." Woah. I didn't mean to be that… mean. "Oh, um, sorry. My life's just. It's"

"Complicated? Yeah, Clare, like I don't get it." He rolled his eyes. Eyes. EYES. _'you have pretty eyes' _(by the way, every time I do these little _italicized words_, it means that they're flashbacks, and that's my excuse for not using italics – back to the story!) . I almost dropped my book, spacing out. He slightly bent down to retrieve the almost fallen book, but didn't- because it didn't fall.

"Well, yeah. It's just really difficult right now- I don't exactly know how to handle it." My face was close to sweating. I could feel it. _'Get out of my house!' _If my memories continue coming back to me, then I'm gonna drop all my books! My mom and dad are just- making my life- stressful. I took one big gulp.

"Just give me a call. As a friend- I don't want anyone to go ballistic on me, for trying to help them, now do I?" He said, partially serious, but I could tell her was kidding. I think he just doesn't know how to hide his nerves or something.

**Eli's POV**

She seems really stressed these days. I wonder why. Wait, I know why. Her parents. Poor thing. I hate how parents always have to plant their stress into their children. It's sad, really.

"Eli." She sighed. Her was seemingly uneasy, as

"Clare. I'm willing to give you all the space that you need. Just- just tell me when-"

"I'm fine! I'm just fine! I'll call you whenever! Just don't- don't bring it up like that! This is the ONLY place where I can escape them, please make the memories good!" She raised her voice just a little bit, while I raised my eyebrows. People began to stare, as Alli began to approach her from behind, but she saw me. Which means that she probably won't go anywhere near us two.

"Clare, Clare. Calm down." I grabbed her shoulders gently, trying my best not to offend her, and calm her down.

A teacher was nearing us. He must be new, cuz I have no clue who the HELL he is. "One foot apart." He warned me. Probably because I ws grabbing Clare's shoulders.

"Sorry… sir?" Yes, I'm fully aware of his gender, but no, I'm not exactly sure if I'll get in trouble for 'not' respecting him. This school is being turned upside down already. I mean, one foot apart rule? Really? I briefly took a few steps away from Clare, innocently putting my hands up.

**Clare's POV**

_'Proove it, scream. At the TOP of your lungs.' _

_ 'Ahhh?'_

_ 'Really? THAT'S the best you can do?'_

_ My heart stopped beating, seeing that in seconds, we were backed up into a pole. In a… how you say- seductive position? Eww, Clare, stop thinking like that. He was gently grabbing my wrist, while I tried to playfully hit him. He innocently put his hands up as I tried to break myself free._

"Clare? Anyone home? I'm not in trouble, and neither are you, so you can stop looking a million miles away now…" He looked into my blue eyes with his green ones. I guess together, we could make a lovely turquoise. NO. Wait. NO. Clare. Don't do that. You're mad at him. Yeah! You're mad at him!

**Eli's POV**

"Sorry, I was just-"

"Reminiscing?"

"Would you just let me finish ONE sentence?" She facetiously stated. But everytime I begin to reminisce, it leads me down an interesting path- called memory lane. Memory lane in my mind is full of gunshots, street fights, and blood. ALL over the sidewalk. Of course, that person was my neighbor, but it's still a very bad thing to see when you're 6. Anyways.

I smirked. "Does this mean that we're friends again?" I sure hope so. I hate it when I feel like I'm on her bad side. She was a bit silent. "Um… speaking terms?" nothing? "Well, I'm talking to you right now- and you're listening- so…"

"Eli-"

"Clare- look. I like you- I really do. But I don't like not being on your good side. So if you're not gonna talk to me now- then just don't talk to me again." I looked away.

"Eli. You didn't let me finish." Instinctly, I let my hands loose motioning her to proceed. "I don't hate you, but I would appreciate it if we would just-"

"Stop fighting?"

**Clare's POV**

_"Well apparently your conscience left JUST LIKE YOU ARE!" Mom started crying. "Maybe it's for the best." She muttered to herself. What's for the best?_

_ …_

_ "Clare- we have some news."_

_ "Your father and I- we're not happy together-" _

I could feel my tear ducts watering themselves. Oh no. "No- I just need to straighten some things out, I gotta go-" I walked away- trying to dry my eyes.

"Clare, wait!" He grabbed my arm, but I can't go down this path again. I pulled my arm back to my side, and began walking down the halls of what used to be Degrassi- and what I now call- hell on Earth.


End file.
